ALL the FEELS

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But right now, I must start talking about City of Lost Souls. I am not done with it yet, so I'll probably edit this post tomorrow when I will most likely finish it, but keeping it inside has not been good for my health.

I mean, LOOK AT THIS:

All those sticky notes? Those are all the Infernal Devices references/clues I have found so far. I had to keep track of them because I MUST FIGURE THIS OUT.

But, backing up. Let's start with the first one:

Clary's in the library at the New York Institute, and she finds "a pendant in the shape of an angel whose wings were clockwork cogs and gears" ...how in the world did Tessa's angel end up in the New York Institute? Why did she take it off? Why give it to Shadowhunters? Why do they keep it in the library like it's some kind of important historical artifact?

Second:

Clary and Jocelyn are talking about Clary's birth ceremony, and Jocelyn says, "A Silent Brother was present, someone sworn to secrecy, and a female warlock who took the place of the Iron Sister." And then Clary asks who the female warlock was, but Jocelyn doesn't answer. I mean, obviously it was Tessa. I love that Tessa is a part of Clary's life somehow, even if it's not in a very important way (or maybe it is). Also, the Silent Brother who was there...

Third:

Jace says, "Technically, my family is British..." Lol. Yeah, so stop disowning the Herondale name, por favor.

Fourth:

Brother. Zachariah. Okay, this is a big theory-- I almost don't even want to say it, but I have to-- but... I am seriously getting the vibe from this book that Brother Zachariah is Will or Jem. He has high cheekbones, slender fingers, and dark hair. Now, before you go thinking, well Jem doesn't have dark hair, he has silver hair! let me just tell you why I think it could be Jem. Jem is Asian. The only reason he has silver hair is because of the drug that's killing him and keeping him alive. If he became a Silent Brother, he wouldn't need the drug to keep him alive anymore. His hair could go back to its regular color. At the same time, I don't think it's an accident that the Silent Brothers have their eyes sewn shut-- the color of someone's eyes could surely give away their identity. Specifically if you have unforgettable blue eyes. Another thing that gets me is that Brother Zachariah is always going on about his "ties" with the Herondale family, and saving the Herondale bloodline. Now, the "ties" part makes me think more of Jem, because of the parabatai oath and tying their souls together or whatever, but the focus on saving the Herondale name is surely more of a Will concern. I'M SO CONFUSED. Oh, and... if Brother Zachariah is either Jem or Will, would he have been the Silent Brother at Clary's birth ceremony with Tessa? HMMM???

Fifth:

When Brother Zachariah says, You are the central point about which his world spins. That has not changed. I cannot tell if this is more of a Jem-like or Will-like thing to say. But it kills me all the same.

Sixth:

Magnus, you're killing me. "God knows we're all drawn toward what's beautiful and broken. I have been," (WILL), "but some people cannot be fixed. Or if they can be, it's only by love and sacrifice so great that it destroys the giver." (JEM)

"I know about parabatai. I've known parabatai so close they were almost the same person. Do you know what happens, when one of them dies, to the one who's left--" STOP IT RIGHT NOW. I don't want to think about this right now.

Seventh:

Jace hates ducks. Not really a clue or anything, I just think it's worth noting.

Eighth:

When they're giving their happy memories to Azazel, and Simon sees Magnus's memory: "the corner of a satin dress that belled out as its wearer spun, a glimpse of Magnus's face, a boy with blue eyes" ...I love that it seems like Magnus's memories are so tied up in Will's life. The satin dress... happy memory... blue eyes... it makes me think things.

Ninth:

BROTHER ZACHARIAH. I was once a Shadowhunter like you. I lived like you do. And like you, there were those I loved enough to put their welfare before anything else-- any oath, any debt.

And try not to let fear for Jace devour you. He is a Herondale, and they are survivors--

Oh yeah? Herondales are survivors? Got any examples of that? Because, um, I'm pretty sure Jace is the only one. Unless you know something I don't, Brother Zachariah. Care to share?
And then Maryse asks him if he had kids, and he says No, no kids. I mean...

Tenth:

Page 386. I can't even.

Clary wants Jace to read to her. Jace picks up A Tale of Two Cities, of all books. OF ALL FREAKING BOOKS. The inscription: "With hope at last, William Herondale." I'm dead. Hope? Will? Those two things don't often come together. It makes me feel simultaneously optimistic and pessimistic. And then:

He unshaded his face after a little while, and spoke steadily. "Don't be afraid to hear me. Don't shrink from anything I say. I am like one who died young. All my life might have been."

"No, Mr. Carton. I am sure that the best part of it might still be; I am sure you might be much, much worthier of yourself--"

Of all the passages, of all the books. Will compares himself to Sydney Carton. Worthier of yourself. The person is telling him not to give up on himself. Someone surely is going to say something like this to Will, right?

And then Clary goes and says, "Oh, I do remember this story now. Love triangle. She picks the boring guy." There has to be a reason Clary's reaction was written that way. I mean, she's obviously disappointed. Which makes me feel-- and I might be leaping here-- like the author was disappointed. So maybe she wants to rewrite A Tale of Two Cities, and have her not pick the boring guy.

Needless to say, I'm done reading for the night. I can't handle this anymore. Also, I'm sorry I don't actually care that much about the actual TMI characters/plot. I'm too invested in their ancestors.

UPDATE:
I finished City of Lost Souls this morning. There was one more Infernal Devices reference that juuust about killed me. Also, I figured some other things out.
The last reference:

Oh, Clary, you're onto something. I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.
Okay, so after going back and reading the first description of Will in Clockwork Angel, I've realized that the description of Brother Zachariah-- angled cheekbones, slender fingers, dark hair-- is not the kind of similar you can ignore. It's blatantly similar, like either Cassie's trying to mislead us into thinking Brother Zachariah is Will, or she's giving us hints that he actually is Will.
I mean, there's the physical description. There's his focus on saving the Herondale name. There's the "two people" he would have died for. The fact that he knows Magnus. The "no kids" thing... I mean, he could be lying because if he said he'd had kids, Maryse might have asked him who they were, and he'd have to be like, Actually, they're your son's great-great-great grandparents. Or whatever. That would make sense because, as far as we know, Will doesn't have Herondale cousins, and he'd be the only person who could pass on the name. But it would also make sense if he weren't lying, because Tessa supposedly can't have kids (and let's face it, he's one of those "one woman for them, or no one" kinds of guys). And maybe he does have cousins. But why would one of his cousins' however-many-great grandchildren have his first name as their middle name?
We know that of Will and Jem, if you think about what Magnus said, one of them dies. And the other one, maybe, becomes a Silent Brother. But why would Will become a Silent Brother? To be immortal with Tessa? Something else? Is there something Will-related that will be resolved in Mortal Instruments-time? If you become a Silent Brother, can you ever go back? It doesn't seem fair that Will doesn't get to really be Will anymore. You can't see his eyes, he can't be sarcastic, he can't even talk. I can't decide if  my sadness at that fact would outweigh the relief I'd feel that Will's being Brother Zachariah would mean he survives.
Also, does he ever see Tessa? Where in the world does she live, anyway? There has to be a reason for them to both be in New York so often. Do the Silent Brothers have some kind of secret life, where they get to be normal people, and the sewn mouth and eyes are some kind of magic that allows you to hear their words without their actually talking?

All of this said, the possibility of Will being Brother Zachariah makes me really happy that Brother Zachariah seems to be becoming a bigger part of all the Mortal Instruments stuff. Like maybe City of Heavenly Fire will focus on him getting his happy ending too.

**UPDATE: Another theory floating around, which I entertained for a little while, is that Brother Zachariah is Stephen Herondale, aka Jace's father. This really throws a wrench in things. There was some reason I dismissed him, but at the moment I can't recall what it was, and that bothers me. It would make sense for Zachariah to be Stephen, because he's a Herondale-- which would explain the resemblance to Will-- and he knew Stephen's middle name, and he's concerned about Jace, and he's a fairly young Silent Brother. And the "no kids" thing would have been him covering his own identity, because once again, if he'd said he had kids, Maryse could have asked who his kids were. And he'd have to be like your son, actually. Also the "two people" he would die for could have been 1) His wife and his ex-wife, or 2) One of his wives and Jace.
The thing that still makes me feel more like it's Will is the you are the central point about which his world spins. I mean, I don't know if that's the kind of thing Stephen would say, but it's definitely the kind of thing Will would say.

**UPDATE #2: So I've been mulling over the information, and I've come to the conclusion that the most likely possibility for Brother Zachariah's identity is Stephen Herondale. I know I just said I feel more like it's Will, but that was over a month ago. Looking more objectively, it seems like Cassie wants us to think it's Will. Because he's the only one we actually know anything about, and she knows we're all curious about what happens to him. All of the clues point to Will-- but she also said that some of the clues are intentionally misleading. Which can only mean that it's not Will, right?