I think I'm convincing myself that Brother Zachariah is not Will.
I mean, the similarities in physical description are so obvious that it makes me think it's some of the "intentionally misleading information" she told us about. And maybe Brother Z. looks like Will because he's a Herondale. Because he's Stephen Herondale.
And the two people he would have done anything for, she wants us to think they're Jem and Tessa, but they're actually Amatis and Jace. Because "in his heart, he was true to Amatis" or whatever.
But then... does this make me happy? I don't know.
It makes me happy because it means Will isn't a Silent Brother! Will can't be a Silent Brother, with the sewn eyes and mouth and the weird creepy mental talking and the complete lack of humor/sarcasm/general Will-ness.
But it also worries me because if he's not a Silent Brother, what happens to him? "I've known parabatai so close they were almost the same person. Do you know what happens, when one of them dies, to the one that's left?" So either Will dies, and Jem's the one that's left, or Jem dies, and something bad happens to Will because of it. I can't.
Sometimes I worry that I make it seem like the only character I care about is Will, but he's not. I swear.
Honestly I was unsure about Tessa as a main character at first. I didn't understand how she could grow up in a small apartment in New York City and then have an air of entitlement the minute she got to London. I didn't like her attitude.
But then I grew to love her attitude. Tessa has spunk-- but not the Clary kind of spunk where she does whatever she wants no matter what anyone tells her not to do. Tessa's spunk more involves her words and her beliefs, which I love. Girlfriend is excellent at telling people off. And then she finds herself torn between Will and Jem, and instead of burdening Will with the knowledge that she loves him but can't do anything about it, she keeps the burden for herself. She burns herself with a fire poker because it's an external release for the internal pressure she's voluntarily facing. All so that Will doesn't have to face that pressure too.
Additionally, Tessa treats Sophie with the kind of respect that servants in that era didn't usually receive. Granted Sophie is a Shadowhunter servant and everyone respects her to some extent, but Tessa sees her as a friend. She actively roots for what's best for Sophie, even if Sophie herself doesn't think she can get it. And then there are Charlotte and Henry, both of whom I love, and to whom Tessa is completely loyal even though she is not a Shadowhunter and doesn't really belong at the Institute.
And Jem. I care about Jem almost as much as I care about Will. Almost. It's just that with him, I've always assumed he was going to die, because everyone in the books has always assumed he was going to die. Because he's dying. He is literally addicted to a drug that is literally killing him. I'm not saying his death is inevitable, because hello, we're talking about Cassie Clare here, but I've tried not to let myself get that attached to Jem. Even when I was reading Clockwork Angel and was unsure about exactly how much I liked Will, and I knew for sure that I liked Jem, I told myself that I shouldn't love him because he'd either turn out to be evil or he'd die. After the Blackfriars Bridge scene, I remember thinking to myself, "Dang. Not evil. Well, how is this going to work?"
And I'm still asking myself that question.
