Let's just pretend it ended at 6 seasons.

So after four solid seasons, two decent ones and three unnecessary and indulgent ones, One Tree Hill is finally over.

I expected the series finale to make me bawl like a little baby, honestly. Because that's how series finales are supposed to go-- they are the last time you're ever going to see these characters you've loved for X number of years. In real time, at least. You'll get to watch reruns, but you never again wonder what's going to happen to them. You never get to learn with them or experience things with them again, because you've learned these things and experienced these things before, and it's not the same if you're just watching them do it all over again.

But the thing is, the One Tree Hill finale didn't make me cry. Not once. The only time I got teary-eyed was when Gavin DeGraw was singing "I Don't Want to Be" ...and I don't even think that was because it was the end of One Tree Hill. I think it was because that was Lucas's song, and Lucas wasn't even there. It was like the finale completely ignored the fact that the show was originally about the other Scott brother. The one who walked across the bridge dribbling a basketball in the opening credits, while Gav went on singing about how he's tired of wondering who he's supposed to be when all he wants to be is himself. The show was about the broody blond kid who was traded by his jerkwad father in favor of the Good Life. Who met the broody blond girl who drove a Comet and had an awesome 'tude, and happened to be dating said jerkwad's other son, who ended up falling in love with broody blond kid's best friend.

NOWHERE IN HERE DO I MENTION BROOKE DAVIS, YOU SEE?

I'm sorry. I am just freaking sick to death of Brooke Davis. This show is not and never was about her. I am so angry that they basically made the last season about her-- cutting Nathan out of half of the episodes and focusing on Brooke's issues with Xavier and her parents and her rival and her children and GAH. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike Brooke. I even liked her for most of the seasons. But these days she is just so annoying and it seems like she thinks everything that comes out of her mouth has to be profound or something and I'm tired of it. I wanted the finale to be about the same people the pilot was about, and I was severely disappointed.

Oh, and the Julian-buying-Brooke's-old-house thing. How did he do that without her knowing? He's got like magical credit powers or something. The whole thing was just a little ridiculous for me. Talk about living in the past, BDavis. You're so intent on not being high school-Brooke, and yet you go and live in her house? Really?

Speaking of living in the past: Nathan with the Cracker Jack bracelet, Haley with the secret box of wishes, Naley with the making out in the rain, Mouth with the Edwards-Scott (should have been Scott-Edwards) Scholarship Fund, Julian making a TV show out of his wife's high school years... Move along, people. We all realize those seasons of OTH were better, but we can watch old episodes if we want. Give us something new to work with.

Another thing that bothered me about the finale was that all of the characters seemed to know the show was ending. Which is funny because they're not even supposed to know they're on a show. They were all making these big conclusive statements and decisions and acting like they were getting their happily ever after, but when has anyone on One Tree Hill really even believed in happily ever after? It was like they were all saying, "It's really over now, so I'm suddenly going to become obsessed with talking about life." Give me a break.

Also, the thing at the end? SO. NOT. BUYING. IT. So you expect me to believe that all of these people look exactly the same approximately 7 years later, when Jamie is about 17? Um, no. Putting extensions in Haley's hair does not make her look older. And that was the only effort they made! And Millie is pregnant NOW?? Nathan and Haley have a 17-year-old son and Mouth, who is the same age as them, is only having a kid now?! THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS FIRST, PEOPLE. It does not add up. Not to mention, Quinn and Clay never had a kid of their own? What?

I won't get into how cheesy the whole basketball-cheering-yay-Jamie-woohoo crap was.

There were three redeeming things in the whole episode: 1. Clay's son calling Quinn "Mom" and them getting married and being a-freaking-dorable. 2. SKILLS AND BEVIN REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD! HALLELUJAH! and 3. Chris. Keller.

A quick letter to Chris Keller:

Dear Chris Keller,

Thank you for always being Chris Keller. Even if nobody else likes it. Even if people don't understand it. Thank you for not changing. Thank you for being the best character on the entire show and, well, knowing it. Thank you for talking in the third person and being an egomaniac, but also for doing the right thing 100 percent of the time. Thank you for fixing things when nobody else tried, when everyone was too caught up in their own drama to see the simple solutions. Thank you for not caring how anyone but Chris Keller feels about Chris Keller. Thank you for being a big softy with a prickly, repellent exterior. Thank you for being the guy who helps the people who think they hate him. Your work here is done.

So basically, this was not an episode of One Tree Hill. Nothing bad happened, the characters acted more like fortune cookies than themselves, and it was cheesy. And I don't completely believe that one second after they all walked out of Jamie's basketball game, someone didn't get shot or hit by a car or attacked by a psycho stalker.

I'm having fun imagining the possibilities.