2012 favorites: SIXTEEN OF THEM.

This is a post I have been dying to do since the beginning of the month when all the blogs started doing this, but I decided to wait until it was a little closer to the end of the year.

Because this is my FAVORITE BOOKS OF 2012 POST. There are 16 of them, and this list only includes books that were PUBLISHED in 2012, although I cannot say I have read all of the books published this year, nor can I say that I didn't discover some new favorites this year that were published prior to 2012.

These are ranked in decreasing-number style, indicating that my #1 favorite is the last one you'll see. 

16. Pandemonium by Lauren Oliver

I have been harsh on this book, but it really is one of my favorites of the year. Not necessarily for the story-- I stand firm in my opinion that it was not what it could or should have been-- but the writing. There's no denying Lauren Oliver a spot in your heart when she wants it, and oh, does she want it. If there's a writer out there who reads Lauren Oliver's words and is not overcome with writer-jealousy, they're lying to themselves.

15. Every Day by David Levithan

One of the most unique and unexpected books I've ever read. It made me think, it made me cry, and it made me glad that David Levithan doesn't shy away from writing about things that seem uncomfortable and teaching you that they really aren't.

14. The Story of Us by Deb Caletti

I love me some Deb Caletti, okay? And this book-- even more than Stay, which I'm pretty sure was intended to make you cry-- made me cry more than any of her others. This is the story that never gets told. This is the story of a couple who was comfortable and happy and perfect together, and their relationship fell apart anyway. Not because they turned against each other, but almost because they were too attached. The thing about this book is that it leaves you with the feeling that Cricket and Janssen's breakup might have actually strengthened their relationship. It leaves you with hope, but doesn't spell anything out for you.

13. Second Chance Summer by Morgan Matson

There are plenty of books out there that try to combine a light summer romance with a heavy personal story, but none this year have done so quite as well as Second Chance Summer. I was ugly-crying by the end of this book, and at the same time the romance aspect had me internally happy-dancing. Great characters, great story, and a real emotional doozy.

12. Under the Never Sky by Veronica Rossi

(Hey, this book came out on my birthday!) Dystopian novels are kind of considered a dime a dozen these days, and as much as I think this is an oversimplification (there may be a formula to dystopias, yes, but they're all different! My love for the dystopian genre prevails because people are always coming up with new worlds in which we'd never want to live, and they're all pretty fascinating), this one surely stands out in the crowd. It's a strange combination of futuristic techno-society and primitive tribal society. The characters, the romance, the world-building, everything seems to be done well and thoroughly in this book. If you're becoming jaded toward dystopias, try this one before you write off the whole genre.

11. Live Through This by Mindi Scott

I don't really want to say much about this book, because the less you know going into it, the better your experience reading it. I'll just say that it's a really important and powerful book, and you should read it.

10. The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight by Jennifer E. Smith

If you had any idea how many books I read this year that wished they were this book, you might be concerned. This is the kind of light contemporary romance I long for and so rarely receive. If I can put your book on the same shelf as my Stephanie Perkins books and not feel like it's contaminating the awesome of that shelf, you're doing something right. (full disclosure: this book actually isn't on the shelf with my Perkins books, but the point is that it COULD BE.) The main character isn't a whiny, boy-crazy uptight brat! The love interest has qualities that make him seem like an actual person! They have witty banter and meaningful conversation! YAAAAY.

9. Promised by Caragh M. O'Brien

I. Love. This series. Promised was the perfect ending: bittersweet, heavy on the bitter. I can't actually believe that there are enough books ahead of it to make it number 9. Gaia! Leon! Commitment with absolutely nothing wishy-washy! Science fiction done believably! Supporting characters getting the attention they deserve! READ THIS SERIES.

8. Middle Ground by Katie Kacvinsky

Why haven't I heard from more people who are into this series? I don't get it. Middle Ground is the ideal sequel: it ain't no bridge book. If you ask me, it's better than the first one. The characters are stronger, the story is more interesting, and the overall concept is darker and more disturbing. Which, you know, is exactly what I want. I'm a big fan of escaping into worlds that make me go all NO THIS IS BAD MAKE IT STOP THIS CANNOT HAPPEN, and this book TOTALLY BRINGS IT. Also: relevant. That's all I'll say.

7. City of Lost Souls by Cassandra Clare

This might be higher on my list if I were more of a Mortal Instruments fan, but we all know I'm an Infernal Devices girl through and through. The Mortal Instruments just don't *get* me like the Infernal Devices do, and that's okay because I still love these books. City of Lost Souls made my inner (okay, not-so-inner) fangirl squee and sob and analyze and just generally not want to put the book down. Mostly this was because of the references to TID, but this book really made me appreciate TMI more as well. I particularly appreciated the way the supporting characters (SIMON. SIMON. SIMON.) became more important in this book, and how the relationships you'd never thought about before were brought into light. You can tell an author really knows and loves her characters when they all have their own connections, rather than false connections that come from having someone in common.

6. Insurgent by Veronica Roth

I finished this book the day after it came out, and I would have read it through the night were I not such a big fan of sleep. It is that good. To be honest with you, I don't really care about the minor plot holes and inconsistencies that everyone seems to think diminish the quality of the book. TRIS. AND. FOUR. Just, ugh. If you're looking for a series where there's real character development and a relationship that actually mimics reality, look no further. Allow me to introduce you to Beatrice Prior and Tobias Eaton.

5. Black Heart by Holly Black

This is a series I could read over and over and over, and Black Heart is once again the perfect ending. I just really love this take on magic (if you want to call it that), and how it's given a twisted criminal side in these books. The love story helps, too. And I have to say, this one is probably my favorite in the whole series, because not a single element of the story is left out of place. Everything in this book has a point. Something may seem small and insignificant, so you forget about it, but then later on it comes back and BAM! Ruins everything. Saves the day. Whichever. All of the dots are connected and Cassel's story is wrapped up in an open-ended kind of way, which only makes sense. I mean, I personally never *really* wanted to feel like I was saying goodbye.

4. The Evolution of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin

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This has been my comprehensive review of The Evolution of Mara Dyer by the infallible Michelle Hodkin.

3. Unspoken by Sarah Rees Brennan

My first experience with this book was at a signing with Cassie Clare, Holly Black, and Sarah Rees Brennan, during which Sarah read a particularly hilarious (though, really, most of them are particularly hilarious) scene from Unspoken whilst acting it out by unbuttoning her cardigan. And so began my infatuation with this crazy Irish lady (if you're not obsessed with her yet, you soon will be, grasshopper). Fortunately, I had already preordered the book, and then I just had to wait FOR TWO MONTHS for it to come. And oh, I was not disappointed. Sarah said her goal was to give readers something that would make them laugh and cry, and evidently she takes her goals PRETTY SERIOUSLY because I laughed so hard I cried, and then I cried so hard that I went back and reread the parts that made me laugh because I wanted to remember the good ol' times. The times before THAT ENDING. Cruel, evil, and undeniably fabulous.

2. The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater

THIS. BOOK. I'm about to turn into an incomprehensible mess, because that's what happens every time I try to explain how much I love this book and its characters. The freaking characters, man. To me, every single thing about this book is perfect. It's like, "Hey, I'm going to give you a premise and see what you think: Girl has a prophecy that says she will kill her true love by kissing him. She meets a ghost and finds out that she either kills him or falls in love with him. I know what you're thinking. Obviously she's going to fall in love with him. This is a YA book after all. But oh, I'm going to twist your brain around a little before I tell you whether you're right." The great thing about this book is that no matter what happens, I will love it. I'll love it if Blue falls in love with Gansey, because okay, I'm a little bit in love with Gansey and I want him to have a deep connection with someone other than Adam. But I'll also love it if Blue kills Gansey, because I will be absolutely devastated and I'm a glutton for punishment. And because that would make these books even less trope-y than they already are (which is... well, not at all). It would spin the world's perception of YA on its axis. It would BE TOTALLY GREAT. Allow me to just finish this by listing the numerous other things that make The Raven Boys my perfect book: the friendships, the setting, the magical aspect, the reasonable main character, the weird way my brain connects Gansey and Adam to Gatsby and Nick, Gansey himself (he's a naive teenaged boy with enough confidence and suave to make it okay when he acts like a mature adult), the fact that the characters see each other's weaknesses, the mystery, GOD I NEED TO READ THIS BOOK AGAIN.

1. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

So it turns out, if I wanted to find my favorite book of 2012, I didn't have to look very far or for very long. This was the first 2012 book I ever read, and it set the bar so high that no other book could really jump over it. So many good things have been said about TFiOS, oh, I don't know, EVERYWHERE (pretty sure it's on every "Best Books of 2012" list in existence), I don't feel the need to explain why it's my favorite. I just had to say that it is. I can't express the gratitude I feel for having been introduced to Hazel Grace Lancaster and Augustus Waters.

In the book, Hazel talks about how there are some books that you love in a way that makes you feel like the broken world will never be put back together unless and until everyone reads them, and there are some books that you love in a way that makes you feel like they belong to you and you alone, and it would be a betrayal to announce your love of them to the world. This book is both for me. I think the world would be a better place if everyone were to read it, but at the same time I don't want it to belong to everyone. And I'm pretty sure that's how everyone feels about it.

Sometimes Jessamines make their own decisions

This post is in response to this post, which brings up some very good points.

source

But the thing is, I still mostly hate Jessamine. As a character study in the vapid and boring, she's great. (I'm being serious. She is the way she is for a reason). As a real person, even, who makes mistakes and has faults and sometimes wants the wrong things, she's perfect. But as someone that I can bring myself to like? Not so much. And that's fine. I don't need to like a character for him or her to be a good character-- that's not how it works. So let me get this out of the way: I'm not going to argue that you should hate Jessamine, or that she's a villain (she's not), but I am going to argue that maybe we're supposed to love hating her.

Jessamine is everything that was wrong with how women were viewed in the 19th century. She's got this badass streak a mile wide, and yet she pushes it down and gets more miserable every time she has to use it, because she wants to be a meek little kitten. She wants to be like all the regular women she envies because they don't have to get their hands dirty. Now, you may argue that she wants this because of society's conditioning in that time; she believes women are meant to be passive creatures because that's what The Man has taught her. But if you argue that, you're wrong. Jessamine has spent a good portion of her life in the Institute, being trained to kill demons and the like. With a parasol. She's spent all of that time with Charlotte, who has the kind of power that women so rarely saw back then, and who still manages to be a woman. Being a Shadowhunter hasn't turned Charlotte into any less of a female, so it's not like Jessamine legitimately has that to fear.

Jessamine's fear is not being accepted. And she lets it hold her back. And she judges other girls (read: Tessa) constantly for not wanting the same things as her, for wanting more than the life that's been given to them. Jessamine, she wants less than the life she's been given. She wants simplicity and domesticity and to have a man around to affirm her femaleness. Is there anything wrong with Jessamine wanting different things? No, but there is something wrong with her attitude toward it. She belittles everyone who isn't her idea of the perfect human specimen. She betrays the people who have cared for her since her parents died, the people who affectionately call her Jessie (which, you'll notice, I refuse to do), because she has it in her head that doing so will get her what she wants.

Yes, she was tricked. But at the same time, she knew what she was doing. If we pretend that she had no part in her own demise, that she was an Innocent Pawn in a Game of Evil, we're treating her exactly the way she wanted to be treated. As a passive 1878 girl who simply didn't know any better. But that's the thing-- that has never been who Jessamine is, because if it were, she wouldn't spend so much time fighting against her own life. She may not have known that Nate was never interested in her, but she did know that he was planning on handing Tessa over to Mortmain. Tessa had never done anything to warrant that, but Jessamine chose Nate anyway because she saw something in it for herself. She's selfish, and that's a quality that just does not fly with me.

And then, when Jem and Tessa go to visit her in the Silent City, she teases them. She mocks Tessa for having feelings for both Jem and Will, and she teases Jem-- Jem! Tell me, what kind of person teases Jem?!?*-- for not being able to keep his hands off Tessa on the way there. As if she has any right to talk, Miss I-Betrayed-You-All-For-A-Nefarious-Psychopath.

So yes, I do think Jessamine is a victim, rather than a villain. But I'm not just talking about what Nate did to her. She's her own victim because she brought this on herself, too.

To sum up, there are reasons to like Jessamine:

1. She usually says what she's thinking-- especially if it's snarky. (her "perfectly reasonable fear of annoying idiots" quote is one of my favorites)

2. She's a fascinating character.

3. She's not a villain.

But my reasons for hating her are:

1. She wants to be the victim...

2. ...but that's not all she is.

3. She's selfish.

4. The things that come out of her mouth fill my feminist self with such disgust that I almost want her off the page completely.

5. I almost respect her too much to label her as "poor naive Jessamine."

*Other than Will, who is allowed.

Review: Meant to Be by Lauren Morrill

This was a book for which I harbored a decent amount of anticipation, due to the fact that it was recommended to me based on my love for Stephanie Perkins (!!!), Sarah Ockler and Jennifer E. Smith. The good news: the comparisons make sense. The bad news: it doesn't quite live up to any of the above.

Characters:

• Julia Lichtenstein, aka "Book Licker," strikes me as one of those characters who a lot of amateur reviewers (myself included) may be tempted to write off as "annoying." But I hate that, as it's not a useful description of any character, so I'm not going to do that. My problems with Julia are a lot more complicated than that, anyway. You see, Julia's a lot like me in the sense that we'd both rather stay in and read a book than go to a party with a bunch of strangers. We don't think we're not fun, but we know that other people might see us that way no matter how much we want to convince them otherwise. But Julia is so uptight all the time, I almost couldn't handle her. The perfectly-aligned bathroom supplies. The memorizing of her phone number via Shakespeare's birthday (highly coincidental, too, considering Shakespeare is her favorite author-- that was a real reach)-- oh, and that one number left over that she just couldn't possibly remember was 4 unless she reminded herself that it was her GPA (also a reach-- you're basically just driving home the point that she's a goody two-shoes, which I already got, thankyouverymuch*). The girl is so rule-oriented that you almost fear she might have Asperger's or something-- until you realize that she's also got a boy-crazy streak a mile wide. All the time she doesn't spend perfectly arranging her messenger bag and taking copious notes, she spends thinking about her MTB, which is text-speak for "meant to be." Because evidently grammatical rules don't apply to text messages for this compulsive know-it-all. She constantly texts her best friend in annoying shorthand that no intelligent people have actually used since 2007. She daydreams about a guy back home who seems not to know she exists, texts with a mysterious guy she doesn't remember, and gallivants around London with a boy who might actually be perfect for her-- but she's too busy judging him and all of his friends to see it! She's in one of those situations where she hates the popular girls because they judge her, so she thinks it's okay for her to judge them (hello? How do you not see that you are doing the same thing to them that they do to you?). Only the problem is that their judgments of her are mostly accurate, while hers of them are not. We have talked about girl-hate, right? Because that's what's going on here. She's assuming that these girls are all shallow, vapid label-mongers with nothing inside their pretty little heads, just because she's never seen them read Austen or Shakespeare. Just because they can find something entertaining about a guy who doesn't take himself too seriously. I understand that this frame of mind is what set her up for the character development she would inevitably experience upon realizing that she was wrong about them, but SHEESH. That pedestal she put herself on sure did make it easy for her to look down on everyone else, and it got old.
• Luckily, Julia's character was my main problem with this book. Jason Lippincott was kind of a shining star here. If not a wholly original character (Logan Echolls, is that you?!), he certainly contributed to the overarching message that people are, in essence, complicated. He brought just the right amount of realism to Julia's romantic ideals, and just the right amount of ridiculousness to her seriousness. I mean, she's walking in the park with her supposed MTB (who is not Jason Lippincott) and he's so jealous he starts doing random cartwheels and running into things, causing her to run into people and general havoc to be wreaked. While Julia's combination of structured and idealistic made next to no sense to me, Jason's combination of carefree and cynical actually worked. Also I loved that he did not instantly fall in love with Julia (because honestly, who would?). He tries to help her. He fights with her. He forgives her. He calls her a pain in the ass. He realizes that there may be other girls who make him feel the way she does, and that's okay, but he chooses her. And he makes her realize that that's what it's about-- not soulmates, not destiny, just choice.

Plot:

• Reminding myself that "all stories have been told before," I'm going to ignore the nagging feeling I had that this book was trying too hard to be Anna and the French Kiss (or even a critique of Anna, with its "blegh, Paris" attitude). The plot was decent. It was not earth-shattering, but it kept me reading. Parts of it almost read like a mystery, but maybe that was just my brain trying to figure out how Jason was finding out all the things he knew about Julia. I hope it was intentional, because that was the part that gripped me the most. I wanted to know what he was up to. You've got one text from Julia to Phoebe saying "What's your favorite line from Shakespeare?" and then almost immediately you've got Jason misquoting that very line. [How Julia didn't remember it, I don't know, because later on she states-- without having seen the response from Phoebe-- that they have the same favorite line.] Suspicious, no?
• There were some plot holes with regard to the twist at the end and how it related to things that happened earlier, but at this point in the review I doubt anyone would be like OMGZ NOOOO  PLOT HOLES THE TRAGEDY I SHAN'T READ THIS BOOK! If you've read to this point and still think you might want to read it, go for it. The plot holes are not *that* major.
• The pacing was pretty good, too. Definitely no insta-love between the two main characters (between the main character and other characters, though...). It pretty perfectly alternates between lighthearted moments and serious ones, and I love that the characters don't dwell on either too much.

Misc.:

• There were some laugh-out-loud moments for me, though I haven't committed them to memory.
• That scene in the rain, on the grass, in the mud... Yeah. That... that was good. [Though, once again, eerily similar to the Anna scene in the park.]

 *an entirely overused phrase/word in the book

Overall Rating: ★★★

Somewhere between "love" and "hate."

A Compendium of Theories

This is going to be my master post of Infernal Devices theories I see floating around. I will put ALL THE THEORIES here, even if they are completely horrible or implausible or make me want to bang my head against things. If you don't see my commentary in small letters after the theory, you can assume that I have no logical reason to object to it.

Also, I will organize them by character.

* indicates a theory I formulated myself (EDIT: crossed out= a theory that was wrong)

TESSA

• She is part-Shadowhunter (in other words, she has some angel blood)*
• Follow-up: her mother was a Shadowhunter, who was switched at birth with a mundane/faerie-- Adele Starkweather. This is why Adele's skin burned when she got her first rune; she's not a Shadowhunter. (I love this theory and think it's probably correct. Also it makes Tessa a Starkweather WHAAAAT)
• Her "second ability" has something to do with visions of the future or visions of present things that she can't see in person*
• it is also somehow related to her clockwork angel*
• OR her second ability is the power to summon angels (which seems probable based on the Clockwork Princess jacket copy)

WILL

• He is Brother Zachariah (possible, but I don't think so, because the clues so obviously point to him. The clues are intentionally misleading; Cassie said so herself.)
• He becomes a Silent Brother as payment to them for curing Jem (unlikely-- if the Silent Brothers knew of a way to cure Jem, they would have done it already, and I'm fairly certain they don't require payment. Also, Jem would never let him do it.)
• He will end up with Tessa but will die of old age or whatever before her because she is immortal
• He will die/sacrifice himself in Clockwork Princess (Nope. Nope nope nope. Just... nope.)
• He will not end up with Tessa and instead will marry someone else in an arranged marriage (right, guys. Because Will is so keen on having other people make such decisions for him. Also, who would make this decision? His parents haven't been a part of his life since he was 12. Charlotte would probably be both morally opposed given her own arranged marriage, and would see no use in even trying to compel Will to do something like this. He sure as heck wouldn't listen to the Clave, and even they probably realize it would be hopeless [I mean, remember the deleted scene where they yelled at him because of his clothes and he showed up naked the next time?] Plus, he says it himself in CP2: it's Tessa for him, or no one. I just... this is one of those theories that makes me wonder if people who come up with theories actually read the books.)

JEM

• He is Brother Zachariah (possible, but again, I don't think so. The clues also point to him, but it's not just that. I don't think Jem would become a Silent Brother just so he wouldn't have to die. He's been living with his imminent death for long enough now that he's made peace with it. Of course, he's not okay with it, but he believes in reincarnation. He doesn't see death as death. He doesn't think he needs immortality to stay in this world forever.)
• He is the Magister (again... there is not really any textual evidence to support this, other than the fact that both the Magister and Jem want to marry Tessa. Because apparently only one man can want to marry her, and it can't be for any reason like he actually loves her or anything.)
• Jem dies in Clockwork Princess (the way one would expect Jem to die, i.e. not of old age)
• He ends up with Cecily (possible, but I don't really think Jem's going to look at any other females while engaged to Tessa. He's not that kind of dude. Though I'm sure Will would be totally for it.)

CECILY

• She is a spy for Mortmain (seems totally possible, except NO because WILL.)
• She is Brother Zachariah. (INTERESTING but as far as I know Silent Brothers are dudes?)
• She marries Gabriel and this is why the Lightwoods end up with Herondale appearances (no textual evidence yet but I don't see why this can't be true, other than the fact that there are several generations between TID and TMI, during which looks can change a lot.)

Why why why why why why

So, I'm kind of unofficially doing NaNoWriMo, except I have no ideas for new stories of my own so I'm mostly just doing things to other people's characters a la fanfiction. I've always kind of thought of it as cheating, and I've never liked the tendency of fanfiction to lean toward the sappy, so I've never written it before. But just for catharsis, I did write a scene with my perfect solution to a problem that has yet to be solved in the actual books, which I probably won't be sharing. And then I wrote this scene to make up for it.

This is my idea of what Will might have been dreaming about the night Aloysius Starkweather showed them his Room O' Warlock Parts and Tessa had the dream about Henry cutting her up. So Will's having this dream right before he wakes up to Tessa's screaming and goes to comfort her and tell her he'd never let anything happen to her.

I am cruel.

            As far as Will could see, there was grass. He was alone, on a hill—he did not know where—and the sky was blue. A perfect day.

            Why was he alone? On a perfect day, he would not be alone.

            Suddenly, Tessa was in front of him. He did not want to question her appearance, wanted to believe it was true, so he simply went to her. She did not say anything, but looked at him as if she could see inside him and liked what she saw. No, she loved what she saw. And it was no danger to her. The smile on her face melted him, turned him into someone he could never outwardly be. He could be that person on this hill. With this girl who loved books and hated chocolate, who was strong and smart and looked at him as if she had been waiting for him her whole life.

            “Tess,” he said.

            “Shh,” Tessa said, and put a finger to his lips, smiling. She held it there and looked over his shoulder, past him. Her smile faded.

            She screamed.

            Will whirled around and saw a dozen automatons marching over the hill, neither slowly nor quickly. It was as if they were taking a casual stroll toward his and Tessa’s impending doom. As if it were inevitable. But there was something else off about these automatons, too. They were completely silent. They came with no warning and they did not stop.

            Will turned around, grabbed Tessa’s hand and pulled her away from the automatons. It was her they wanted, wasn’t it? She was the one they always wanted. They ran down the hill, through the valley, and up the next hill. This hill was no better.

            They reached the top, her hand still in his, and faced it together. Tessa screamed again. There, in front of them, was Jem. He was lying on the ground, wheezing and coughing and barely moving.

        Will stood stock-still and Tessa ran to collapse beside Jem, her head resting on his chest. “James,” she said, “I love you.”

            As soon as the words left her mouth, Jem’s labored breathing stopped. He smiled. He was perfectly fine. Happy as Will was to see his parabatai well, his heart was inexplicably sunken. He felt as if he was witnessing something private, something he was not meant to see. Tessa seemed to have forgotten him there, standing behind her, and Jem did not notice him at all. They were staring at each other in the same way Tessa had been staring at Will what seemed like moments ago.

            This was something he did not expect. It came with no warning, and he could not make it stop. If they were happy, he was happy. Right?

            Will turned around and walked back down the hill, toward the oncoming automatons.

Why I love YA

So, I've used this blog to write about YA for... a while now. Do you ever wonder why?

I'm going to tell you why. Now, to be honest, I'm doing this to enter Beth Revis' awesome giveaway of YA books, but I actually have been thinking about doing this for a while.

YA gets a lot of crap, especially from the hoity-toity type who like to sip tea and read Real Literature and contemplate Things. Yes, Things.

But you know what? Those people don't know what they're missing. Young adult books are just as meaningful as adult books. Don't agree with me? Allow me to direct you to the Harry Potter fandom. Or The Hunger Games fandom. Or pretty much any fandom. I'm not here to tell you why or how they're just as meaningful. That's what fandoms-- groups of people whose lives have been changed in some way by these young adult books-- are for.

I'm here to tell you why I personally love YA. I love YA because I hate tea, and I will never be that person who judges anyone based on what they read, or tells adults that they look ridiculous reading kids' books. I am 21 years old, and I am about to start reading the Percy Jackson books because my 19-year-old Tumblr friend told me I had to. What I love about YA is that that's okay, because the themes in YA are just as adult as those in Real Literature, only it trusts young people to understand them. This genre doesn't pander or talk down to anyone. I mean, I know some adults who refused to see The Hunger Games movie not because it was for kids, but because they couldn't handle the subject matter. The age range for that series? 13+. YA doesn't say, "Oh, you're 13? A baby! Here's your pacifier of ignorance and your blankie of simplicity." YA says, "Oh, you're 13? You're like totez old enough to grasp this and use it. You're young enough to be changed by the things you read. Let's put those two together!"

I love YA because it includes so many subgenres and I can read any of them. Paranormal, dystopian, contemporary, historical fiction, you name it. I will read any of those YA books. A lot of those Adult Literature Lovers are stuck in one genre (for a lot of them, it's murder mystery. What, exactly, is it about murder mysteries that makes it the end-all-be-all for adults' reading habits?), but for those of us who read YA, we know that any book has the potential to be your new favorite book. We know that you can simultaneously love Anna and the French Kiss and The Book Thief,  or The Perks of Being a Wallflower and The Mortal Instruments.

Now, why do I prefer YA over Adult, specifically? Basically, in the words of John Green, "I don't give a shit about adults." I've read adult books, and really liked exactly one of them. It's a personal preference; I'm not saying there's anything inherently bad about adult books. But YA books just get me. They crawl into my heart and mind and take up residence. They're full of actual characters and plots and they keep me reading until I should have gone to bed hours ago. I can guarantee you that, back when I bought those first five books that began my obsession with reading over the past two years, if I had started with an adult book, I would not be the same person I am today. I would not have this blog. I would not be a reader. I would not be a writer.

I love YA because it has changed my life, and I know that sounds so cliche and dramatic, but it's true. YA has opened my mind and turned me into a fangirl and a thinker and a creator, and I am grateful.

Book Review: The Evolution of Mara Dyer

It's possible that I'm not ready to write this review yet. But I'm going to do it anyway because what is the point of getting an ARC if you don't review the book?

So I'm not one of those people who usually start a review by saying how I came to own the book. What  made me decide to buy it? Did I order it online? Did I go to a bookstore and hear it call out my name? No. Nobody cares. But for this one, I feel like I have to tell you the story. Because I was not expecting it. I had resigned myself to waiting another 15 days before I could get my hands on this book, and while I was anxious, I was fine with that. I mean, Michelle Hodkin is following me on Tumblr, so I already felt kind of awesome and important, you know? So why not just wait like everybody else?

And then on Monday I got home and there were three packages on the table. One, I was expecting. The other two were mysterious. They were both from Simon & Schuester, so I did the math in my head. Simon & Schuester... publishing... hey, The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer is from Simon & Schuester... oh hey, what if this is The Evolution of Mara Dyer?! No, it can't be. It must be something else. So I opened the first package, and there, in my hands, was this glorious unexpected book that I've been looking forward to for eight months now. I jumped around and yelled "WHAT!" at least 8 times. And then I opened the other package, having no clue what to expect because why in the world would they send me two?! Well, I don't know, but they sent me two. More jumping and yelling.

I was so excited I completely forgot about my dentist appointment (the hygienist called me 3 minutes after I was supposed to be there and asked if I was on my way). I flew out the door, went to the dentist, came back, and read.

250 pages.

Suffice it to say I was hooked. Well, we saw that coming, right? Considering my review of the first book?

The next day I woke up and read. Then I went to school. Then I came home and read until I finished it. And then I was sad.

Anyway. Review. That's what this is.

Everything I loved about The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer, I also loved about The Evolution of Mara Dyer. Mara is still the deliciously unreliable narrator-- you feel like you can trust her, but there are moments of doubt. At least for me, there were times when I was like, "What if everyone else is right? What if I only believe Mara because she's the one telling the story?" Which is, like, the BEST question to ask yourself while you're reading a book or watching a movie or, heck, even listening to one person's side of a story. Do you trust the narrator just because they're the narrator? Or do you trust her because she's the only one who can tell this story correctly?

Also, I love that Mara comes a little more unhinged in this book. I'm really going to try to avoid spoilers in this review because the book isn't even out yet, so I'll just say that, well, she kind of had a right to go a little bit nuts. When there's only one person in the world who believes a word that comes out of your mouth, and you're doing things you don't remember, and you can KILL PEOPLE WITH YOUR MIND, a little bit of insanity probably comes with the territory. I say "a little" because it's not like Mara is completely off her rocker; she does have that one person who believes her. Who's going through all of it right there with her. And that's all she really needs to keep her from completely losing it.

So, Noah Shaw, you've done it again.

Thank you for not changing in this book. You're still the bad boy who smokes and swears and fights and denies no incriminating factoid. Thank you for having more layers than anyone but Mara would give you credit for. Thank you for being good at being bad, but also for being good at being good. Thank you for getting along with Mara's brothers, even when she's not around. Thank you for your arrogant, devilish grin. And thank you for hiding your fear, for never doubting Mara no matter how much the two of you doubt yourselves, for always showing up when she needs you, and for helping her be the tiger that bites when you rattle its cage.

Seriously, guys. Their relationship in this book is SO GOOD. And every time it gets to the point where Mara feels like she can't do something without Noah, and I groan a little bit, she makes herself do it without him, and I sigh with relief. She doesn't let herself be that girl, and he doesn't let her be that girl. Which is perfect. They support each other and they're better as a team, but they aren't the kind of team that falls apart when they're not together. Mara constantly feels like he doesn't need her as much as she needs him, but he shows her that it's not true, and that gives her strength. Their relationship gives her strength, hardens up her edges a little-- while it gives his edges a much-needed softening. That's called BALANCE, people!

One relationship that is worse in this book than in the first book: Mara's relationship with her older brother, Daniel. I loved how close they were in the first book, and they're still pretty close, but they're kind of keeping each other at a distance in this one. Daniel because he's worried about Mara (understandably), and Mara because Daniel doesn't believe the truth, so she can't tell him the truth. They're still always on each other's sides, but I just wish he could've been one more person who doesn't doubt her. I understand why he does, but that doesn't mean I like it. Their relationship isn't as easy and relaxed as it was in the first book.

Oh, and then there's Jamie. Yes, Jamie's back! The same old banter between him and Mara. The same sense of humor and slight anger issues, but with all new depth to his character as a fatal flaw in his worldview is exposed and we get to learn more about who he really is. My blog needs some kind of bell for !!!character development!!! so I can ring it every time something like this comes up in one of my reviews. *happydancing*

Anyway. The plot this time around is much more intricate and requires a lot more dot-connecting than the first book, which is always fun. The scenes in Mara's new "school" were a little slow for me, but not so slow that I even thought about putting the book down. Ever.

I love the new developments in this book and I can't wait to see where they lead in the next one. And THE ENDING, WHAT THE HECK. No spoilers, but I didn't see it coming. I had to reread a certain part and then I felt like it was some kind of optical illusion or mind trick, because I definitely missed the most important thing the first time I read it. Just ONE WORD changed everything. I can't even. My stomach dropped, my eyes watered, and my mouth could not form words for the rest of the night. I'm in denial (no really, I don't believe it. I'm not intentionally refusing to believe it, I just don't). And the best part is that the same exact thing happened to Mara. She had to read it again. Her eyes watered and I'm guessing her stomach dropped. And, if I know Mara, she doesn't believe it either.

Which is another thing I love about this book. Maybe I'm more like Mara than I thought, but it is so easy to go through things with her, to understand her, even considering how much you wonder about her reliability as a narrator. One second you're like "Mara, that can't really be what happened, you're telling tales," and the next second you're like, "MARA, WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS."

Overall rating: ★★★★½

I deducted half of a star because 1) Certain chapters threw me off a bit (I won't say more than that because spoilers), and 2) Daniel. But otherwise I'M SQUEALING WITH DELIGHT AND ANGST. And wondering what changed between the ARC and the final version?

Book Review: The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater

Guys. GUYS.

This is going to be another one of those times when I completely gush about a new book and say just about nothing negative in regard to it, because it is PERFECTION. Five stars, again. And trust me, it's really hard to get 5 stars from me. Yes, this is going to end up being one of those books that I put on a pedestal and turn all red in the face if ever I see or hear a negative word about it.

So this is a little backward, but The Raven Boys was my first Maggie Stiefvater book. I've never read the Shiver series, and I own The Scorpio Races but haven't read that yet either. So I went into this book completely blind and not really knowing what to expect. But HOLY CRAP is my mind blown. I'm writing this review two days after finishing the book because I've been having trouble even forming the right words.

Let me just organize my thoughts into categories here. Of course, I must start with my most important category:

CHARACTERS

The characters in this book are some of the best I've ever encountered. Like, they're so flawed and real but also still characters in the sense that they're exciting and new, and can't really be compared to anyone in real life. Of course these are just vague descriptions of a bunch of characters, so I'll go character-by-character.

First, there's the main character, Blue. I just love her. She doesn't take crap from anyone. She has a pretty leash-free relationship with her mother, and doesn't really listen even when her mother does tell her what to do. She stands up to the macho raven boys with a quick wit and no fear, which would be impressive even if she weren't a mere five feet tall. She isn't too keen on doing what's expected of her, but she always does the sensible thing. It's almost like she thinks about her feelings even more than she actually feels them, because she likes to be in control of them.

Then there's Gatsb-- I mean Gansey (sorry, my brain has involuntarily made connections between Gatsby and Gansey). I hardly even know how to explain what a perfect character he is, because he's so complicated and unexpected. Imagine meeting a guy who's been filthy rich his whole life. He goes to an all-boys' private school, uses his money to get what he wants, and condescends to people who aren't as rich as him. But the thing is, the condescension is completely unintentional. He doesn't realize he's doing it. And his relationship with money isn't quiet so simple either-- it's not just that he has so much of it that he doesn't think twice about throwing it at anyone who can do something for him; it's that he's never known any different. He's jealous of the people who haven't had money their whole lives, because he secretly wants to be normal. Sure, he's in-control, suave, confident Gansey. But he's also just Gansey, the boy who wants to carve his own path. The boy who gets excited about things, who wishes he hadn't been raised to use three- and four-syllable words that nobody else knows, or cherish ridiculous things like fancy cars and glass plates, or ride in private helicopters without realizing that it's a little excessive. And he cares so much about his motley little group of friends, because of the feeling he got when he met each of them-- that it was just right. He may seem like the type whose head guides his every move, but Gansey's heart is what really does it.

Then we've got Nic-- I mean Adam. The level-headed, "elegant"-looking kid from the not-a-trailer park, whose private school sweater has a pull on the shoulder because he can't afford a new one. The most trustworthy one for Blue, it seems, but oh, did I mention these characters are complicated? Yes, Adam has a dark side. I won't tell you what it is, but he's both the most innocent and down-to-earth raven boy of the bunch and possibly the most off-his-rocker. Gansey is the leader of the group, but Adam is the only one to whom Gansey ever defers. He respects Adam's opinions on all things, and Adam forces himself to see the best in Gansey, reminding himself that he doesn't mean to be condescending. His devotion is tested and tested again, and the beautiful thing is that I can't tell you it's never broken. Adam is not flawless, he has his weak moments, and he's all the more perfect because of it.

Then there's Ronan. The brute who nurses a baby raven back to health. The raven named Chainsaw who has also made appearances in his dreams, because his head is only a safe place for a chainsaw. He's got a secret and we don't know what it is. He seems tough and heartless, but he's also the person who tried to teach Gansey how to fight to protect himself, and the person who defended Adam in a situation when nobody else would dare get involved. Mostly in the first book Ronan is a mystery, but I have a feeling we'll be learning a lot more about him in the next one.

Then you've got a bunch of eccentric supporting characters, and I'll just say that you hardly even have to look to see who's talking because you can tell just by what they're saying. Which is a feat in itself.

PLOT

The plot in this book is extremely twisty and confusing and I wouldn't have it any other way. It was impossible to guess what was going to happen, because half the time you're still trying to figure out what just happened. You're waiting for Blue's prophecy (that her kiss will kill her true love) to come true, but at the same time it's possible that you've already seen it. You're wondering if she's really going to fall in love with Gansey (sure seems like it), or if that was a misdirect. You're wondering what's going on in the magical world and what it has to do with the real world. My favorite thing is looking for connections in stories, and this book gives me a whole crapload of that. So I'm happy.

ROMANCE

IT IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. Do not go into this book thinking it will be a romance novel, because you will be doing yourself a serious disservice. Yes, the main hook is the whole thing about Blue being destined to kill her true love, but it is not about the romance. At least not in the first book. In this one, Blue starts seeing Adam, and it's completely innocent and adorable but it also has dark undertones because Adam's got some issues that Blue doesn't know about, and Blue knows that she's either going to kill Gansey or fall in love with him. Her relationship with Adam, believe it or not, allows her relationship with Gansey to develop, because she gets to spend time with him as friends. She gets to learn about who he really is before simply assuming that she's going to fall in love with him. It gets to be her choice (no insta-love!!!!!!!!). Gansey becomes the only person she tells about the prophecy, because at this point, to her, he seems so detached from it. I felt like this was the perfect way to start their relationship without really starting it-- and without really confirming that there will even be a relationship.

SETTING

Unique, interesting, transporting, clear, and kind of a character in itself.

WRITING

Beautiful. Flawless. More, please.

I think I'm going to stop myself before this becomes ridiculously long and gushy. I just had to say something because I can't stop thinking about this book and these characters and their relationships and okay bye.

★★★★★

Book Review: Unspoken by Sarah Rees Brennan

You know how in every teen movie ever, there's always that party that gets way out of hand and giant dudes end up throwing around breakable things with no concern for their fragility? And 9 out of 10 times, that thing ends up smashed to bits? Well, Unspoken by Sarah Rees Brennan is a pair of giant dudes, and my heart is that breakable thing.

Why am I telling you this? Well, I think you should read the book. HEY, don't give me that look. I'm not crazy. I want you to read it because, sure, I am selfish and do not like to be alone in my misery. But also because I am selfless and want other people to experience good things. And Unspoken is a good thing. A very good thing. And also a thing that will use your feelings like a hacky sack. But let's start with the good things first:

HUMOR

This was, without a doubt, the first time I've laughed hysterically at a book (for what is probably not considered a normal amount of time) since I read the animal crackers scene in The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer. And I still have times when I think about that scene at any random moment in the middle of the day and turn into one of those crazy people who seems to be laughing for no reason at all. So yeah. This book is funny (even if you don't have the memory of Sarah unbuttoning her cardigan whilst doing a dramatic reading from it, as I so vividly do). My favorite spoiler-free hilarity:

Kami strode through a froth of daisies to a half-fallen wall that might once have been part of a fortress, but was now a tumble of stones studded with spiky yellow blooms. She bent down, rummaging in the wild tangle of garden around her feet, and chose a pebble. A large pebble. Kami wound her arm back, took careful aim, and threw.
The "pebble" crashed through both glass and curtain.
There was the creak of an old sash window being thrust open, and Jared's head and shoulders appeared at the window. "Hark," he said, his tone very dry. "What stone through yonder window breaks?"
Kami yelled up at him, "It is the east, and Juliet is a jerk!"
*pause to get laughter under control* [I mean, she just smashed his window open and he pulls out Romeo & Juliet?!]
Jared abandoned Shakespeare and demanded, "What do you think you're doing?"
"Throwing a pebble," said Kami defensively. "Uh... and I'll pay for the window."
Jared vanished and Kami was ready to start shouting again, when he reemerged with the pebble clenched in his fist. "This isn't a pebble! This is a rock."
"It's possible that your behavior has inspired some negative feelings that caused me to pick a slightly overlarge pebble," Kami admitted. 

CHARACTERS

I'm a sucker for a good character. Any good character, really. But these aren't just any good characters. You're going to wish you had a Kami Glass, Lady Sleuth, in your life. Kami is not only witty and entertaining, but she has the endearing quality of being so objective that she sees both the best and the possible worst in everyone. She's no damsel in distress, but she's not an invulnerable stone either. You're going to simultaneously want your own Jared Lynburn and hope that you never, ever get one. He's a bad boy but he doesn't really know why. He's full of anger and despair but also lightness and vulnerability similar to Kami's. You're even going to love the overly-boy-friendly Holly, who most other books would have turned into a teenaged nemesis in a frenzy of girl-hate. She's wide-eyed but also logical, friendly but also lonely. All of the characters are so beautifully complicated, I could go on and on, but I'll spare you. Just. Yes. Good.

PACING, PLOT & ALL THAT GOOD STUFF

Do not put this book down. It will start making irresistible weepy noises and begging you to come back to it.

You want an awesome concept for a book? Imaginary friend turns out to be real. He's got a weird family. Murders (both human and fuzzy woodland creature-- oh yes, she went there) abound and you think his weird family has something to do with it. Oh, and there's some weird magicky thing happening in the woods, and someone's trying to kill you. You know.

THE HACKY SACK

So, if you're one of those literary masochists (like me), who are not complete until a book has turned you into a puddle of emotions on the floor, I HAVE GOOD NEWS. The end of this book had me unable to form a coherent sentence about it for going on 3 hours. You see, throughout the whole thing, there are ups and downs-- moments that kind of lift you up and make you squee like a schoolgirl, followed by moments that throw that squee out the window and run it over with a large sedan. But nothing will prepare you for the end, when *something* happens and you're like FINALLY and you're walking on clouds and life is wonderful and you're about to slide down a rainbow and then suddenly it's all gone and there is nothing left and, nope, there's no parachute to soften this blow, so you're hurtling to the cold, hard earth that is the end of the book. And then, as my friend Will Herondale would say, you're left lying limply on the ground, trying to remember your own name.*

STOP READING THIS AND BUY IT

No, really. That's all I have to say about it. I hope I sold you on the book, and I hope you love it. But mostly, I hope you fangirl and commiserate with me.

★★★★★

*- I have found this phrase can apply to many different situations. For instance, Will used it to indicate how charmed Aloysius Starkweather would be by him. I have just used it to indicate how broken you will be by the end of this book. Just saying, it's a very versatile phrase.

Book review: Amelia Anne is Dead and Gone

CONTAINS MILD SPOILERS:

I really wish I were one of those people who could give a book 5 stars based on writing alone. Because, let me tell you, this one would probably get 6 stars for the writing. The writing in this book is gorgeous and thoughtful and stopped me dead in my tracks more than once. The story is compelling, and the setting is like a main character in itself.

Unfortunately, my literary preferences don't tend toward the writing, or the story, or the setting. I can appreciate all of these things when done well, and any book that does them all well is probably going to automatically get at least a 3-star rating from me. But my literary preferences tend toward characters, and this book was seriously lacking in that department.

Let me get this out of the way: I don't care if characters are unlikable. I don't care if they're so skeevy that I literally feel uncomfortable reading the book while they're on the page. I do, however, care if I have no idea why they are the way they are. I need to know what makes them tick. I need my characters, if not totally realistic, to at least be believable for one reason or another. In this book, I found the main character extremely boring half of the time, and extremely whiney the other half of the time.  She's whiney when she goes on about how much she hates being from a small town. She's boring when she constantly ruminates on how she no longer believes in her life plans and considers staying in Bridgeton-- to me, that kind of thinking shows a complete lack of spark. Her whole life she's had these plans, and suddenly she's going to throw them away because of a relationship with a guy who's hardly worth the sacrifice? She doesn't think they'll work out if she leaves. I don't know why she doesn't see that that, in itself, is an answer to her question. We're going to break up if I go after my dreams... something's not right here. [In this vein, I'd just like to say that I really enjoyed the parallels between Rebecca and Amelia and their respective boyfriends, and how they're both on the cusp of going after what they really want and yet something is grasping at them with the claws of dreams deferred and lives unlived.]

Which brings me to my next character issue: James. Dude was seriously overbearing and prickly and just did not sit right with me at all-- which would be fine, like I said, if I had any idea why he was this way. I know that his mom died of cancer. This is a fairly short book, and it kind of seemed like on one page James was all sappy about having been there when his mother died, or not having intended to hurt Rebecca when he broke up with her, and then on the next page he was back to telling Rebecca what to do and not caring at all what she thought about anything. I get that this was to sway the reader's trust away from James, in preparation for the almost-surprising plot twist at the end, but it ultimately just left me wondering what Rebecca even saw in him. As a love interest, he wasn't appealing at all.

The same goes for Luke, who was basically exactly like James, except a little more out of control.

The only character in this book I really thought was fully fleshed-out and interesting was Amelia. She knew what she wanted, and she never once considered giving it up for Luke. She even knew that if he wasn't happy for her, she didn't want to be with him anymore. I even feel like I understood her feelings for Luke more than I understood Rebecca's feelings for James because she completely trusted Luke. It never seemed like Rebecca truly trusted James, which got in the way when it came to buying/understanding her hesitance to leave Bridgeton because of him. Amelia was going to tell Luke her plans to go after her dreams no matter what he thought of them; Rebecca was about to tell James her plan to abandon her dreams. James's redemption came when he told Rebecca he wanted her to go anyway, because he didn't know where he'd be. Rebecca's redemption came in the epilogue, when it had been years since she'd even seen James and we learn that she had left Bridgeton and never gone back.

As for the plot, I felt it was kind of slow. I ended up skimming the second half of the book (the second time this has happened to me this week!), and I thought a lot of the "In small towns" chapters, though wonderfully crafted, were slightly unnecessary and distracting. As was the whole thing with Craig, which kind of just seemed like a device to add drama to an already dramatic story.

To end on a positive note, let me just reiterate that the writing in this book is showstoppingly, devastatingly beautiful. It's definitely worth reading if you're not a stickler for characters like I am... heck, maybe even if you are.

★★★☆☆

The steady flame and the brighter burning star

So, I'm rereading Clockwork Angel (I know, I know, why do I do this to myself?), and I just have to have one of my rare Jem-Appreciation Moments right now.

Jem grinned. "Where have you been? The Blue Dragon? The Mermaid?"

"The Devil Tavern, if you must know." Will sighed and leaned against one of the posts of the bed. "I had such plans for this evening. The pursuit of blind drunkenness and wayward women was my goal. But alas, it was not to be. No sooner had I consumed my third drink in the Devil than I was accosted by a delightful small flower-selling child who asked me for twopence for a daisy. The price seemed steep, so I refused. When I told the girl as much, she proceeded to rob me."

"A little girl robbed you?" Tessa said.

"Actually, she wasn't a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name of Six-Fingered Nigel."

"Easy mistake to make," Jem said.

"I caught him in the act of slipping his hands into my pocket," Will said, gesturing animatedly with his scarred, slender hands. "I couldn't let that stand, of course. A fight broke out almost immediately. I had the upper hand until Nigel leaped onto the bar and struck me from behind with a pitcher of gin."

"Ah," said Jem. "That does explain why your hair's wet."

"It was a fair fight," Will said. "But the proprietor of the Devil didn't see it that way. Threw me out. I can't go back for a fortnight."

"Best thing for you," Jem said unsympathetically. "Glad to hear it's business as usual, then. I was worried for a moment there that you'd come home early to see if I was feeling better."

So, I'm sure the first time I read this, I assumed Jem was simply uninterested in what Will was saying, and that's why he was so patronizing about it. I probably had the same perspective as Tessa, who, while Will's story didn't really seem realistic, had no reason to really believe he was lying. But now I know that he was lying, that he lies about all of it, and I know that Jem knows he's lying too. And yet he says nothing. He goes along with it, because he knows that-- for whatever reason-- Will needs to think that they believe him. Jem doesn't point out how outlandish the story is, or show any indication that he knows it's not true. He does exactly what Will needs him to do, which is pretend the story is just as real as Will pretends it is. He doesn't even know why it's so crucial that he pretend, and yet he does it for his best friend. Bravo, James Carstairs.

Oh, and here's a little Will piece that ripped out my soul and did the merengue on it:

"It was the violin," Jem explained. "She heard me practicing."

"Ghastly wailing noise, isn't it?" Will asked Tessa. "I don't know how all the cats in the neighborhood don't come running every time he plays."

"I thought it was pretty."

"That's because it was," Jem agreed.

Will pointed a finger accusingly in their direction. "You're ganging up on me. Is this how it's going to be from now on? I'll be odd man out? Dear God, I'll have to befriend Jessamine."

I'LL BE ODD MAN OUT. *wails*

Also, I'm pretty sure he only dissed Jem's violin-playing to make Tessa despise him. *wails more*