Review: The Secrets of Lily Graves

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THERE'S BLUE
WHERE THERE SHOULD BE BLACK.
This cover is aesthetically displeasing on many levels, the most important of which being IT HURTS MY EYES.

★★½

Source: HarperCollins

Format: print galley

Pub date: May 13, 2014

Summary from Goodreads (I've taken the liberty of crossing out the parts that are actually not relevant to the book at all): 

Growing up in a house of female morticians, Lily Graves knows all about buried secrets. She knows that perfect senior-class president Erin Donohue isn’t what she seems [although this has nothing to do with having grown up in a house of female morticians]. She knows why Erin’s ex-boyfriend, hot football player Matt Houser, broke up with her [again, said knowledge not related to the house of morticians]. And she also knows that, even though she says she and Matt are just friends, there is something brewing between them—something Erin definitely did not like.
But secrets, even ones that are long buried, have a way of returning to haunt their keeper.
So when Erin is found dead the day after attacking Lily in a jealous rage, Lily's and Matt’s safe little lives, and the lives of everyone in their town of Potsdam, begin to unravel [kind of]. And their relationship—which grew from innocent after-school tutoring sessions to late-night clandestine rendezvous—makes them both suspects.
As her world crumbles around her [becomes less normal], Lily must figure out the difference between truth and deception, genuine love and a web of lies. And she must do it quickly, before the killer claims another victim [wow, what a horrible way to end a synopsis. It's too bad nobody's actually that concerned about the killer claiming another victim].

I was both pleasantly and unpleasantly surprised by The Secrets of Lily Graves, and I'm trying to figure out how I can be both. Pleasantly, because it was a quick read, had funny moments, and focused on a somewhat unconventional characters: the protagonist, Lily, lives and works in her family's funeral home, and her best friend has a physical deformity that does not define her. Unpleasantly, because the romance was told, not shown, and frankly the ending just sucked. If this book was Friday Night Lights (which is another issue I had, I'll get to that in a second), the ending was season 2.

I really liked Lily as a character, and her family was great in that it kind of reminded me of Blue's family in The Raven Cycle. Just a bunch of women with a weird job, living in a house together and hoping but not really believing they have any kind of control over the teenager in the house. Perfect Bob was cool too. The high school drama was a bit cliché, what with the popular crowd hating Lily because she's different and ohmygod she hangs out with (TUTORS) the Queen Bee's boyfriend, but if I'm going to start deducting points based on high school clichés, I've got a lot of backtracking to do.

My main problems with the book were these:

• It's stupid, but I really couldn't get past the Friday Night Lights thing. You know, the thing where the author was like, "Yeah, I'll make the main character's love interest a quarterback! Why not name him Matt and give him the number 7? Oh, and the football team should be the Panthers!" Because honestly, I don't like being forced to compare new characters to Matt Saracen. It's not fair to them, putting them in a battle they can never win.
• Neither investigation— Lily's nor the police's— worked for me. Lily was always jumping to conclusions without really explaining her logic, because she didn't really have logic for a lot of them, and she would stick with those conclusions for an annoyingly long time and then change her mind so suddenly I felt whiplashed. The police were just idiots most of the time. Lily was right when she said the killer was laughing at them for spending so much time on her and Matt, because they had no evidence to use against Matt. 
• The romance. Sorry, but a few flashbacks to friendly moments between Matt and Lily, the casual mentioning of the times they almost crossed a line, and Matt's sudden availability when Erin dies a day after he broke up with her do not add up to a believable love story, if you ask me. I would've liked to have seen those moments, so I didn't have to question their devotion to each other.
• The end. Basically, it ruined the one well-developed relationship Lily had, and inserted a weird melodramatic plot element that was resolved in a glossed-over manner in the epilogue. Don't get me wrong, finding out who killed Erin was a super twist and I fully support that part, but I felt like it could have been done without taking this one relationship down with it. And the whole thing where the last chapter is like, "So-and-so was shot! So-and-so is dead!" and the epilogue is like, "We reached So-and-so in time so it was NBD"? Naaaaaaah. Nope. I could cross out that entire part and it would not make any difference whatsoever.

Other than alllllll of that, though, it was enjoyable. The humor was seriously dark sometimes, which I loved, and it's well paced and all that jazz.

Yeah, that's all I've got.

What we talk about when we talk about Logan Echolls

Yesterday I saw a post in defense of Piz that started with "I can't believe I even have to write this post." Well, I'm going to have to steal that sentiment, because I genuinely cannot believe I am sitting down to write this post right now. In defense of Logan Echolls.

Not because I can't believe I'm defending him, but because I can't believe the negativity toward and the dismissal of his character that's been surrounding the release of the Veronica Mars movie. Some people really need to watch the show again and remember just what a fantastic character he is.

Yeah, she used to accuse him of a lot
of evil. And she was wrong.

I've been flip-flopping between making this a post about Logan specifically and making it a post about the "bad boy" in general, but I've decided Logan needs me more than the bad boys do. Because he is not one of them. Logan Echolls was originally created as the "obligatory psychotic jackass" of Neptune High-- it would have been fine to dismiss that Logan as the bad boy and continue rooting for whatever other boys (boring as Duncan or unfitting as Piz) were vying for Veronica's heart. 

See?

But the Logan Veronica Mars knows? Is not that Logan. The writers gave him a chance because there was more to him than that-- there's more to anyone than the high school TV show tropes like "bad boy"-- and what we learned was that this boy has deeps.

Deeps.

I'm not talking baggage, or issues, or whatever other negatively-connoted words you're drumming up right now.

I'm talking deeps.

It's not okay to dismiss him anymore, and I won't stand for it. If you like Piz and you're ticked that he and Veronica broke up, fine, whatever, I probably can't help you. But if you're ticked that Veronica ended up with Logan, of all people, then pull up a chair because you need some counseling and I'm here to help.

Here's the thing: Piz and Logan are not polar opposites. They're actually very similar, if you think about it. Sarcastic, witty, kindhearted--

"But! Logan is not kind!"

Sit down and shut up for a second. Yes he is. He really, really is.

Not to defend Psychotic Jackass Logan of Pilot fame, but that was a shell of a character who made fun of Veronica as part of their rapport. Toward the middle of the season we learn some new things about him: he truly loved Lilly Kane, his girlfriend who was murdered, he feels like he's losing his best friend Duncan, and oh! His famous father, who's adored by the public, abuses him and probably his mother behind closed doors. If you can't find sympathy for this boy, how can you find sympathy for Piz, who makes fun of Veronica before he meets her and then magically changes his mind once he sees that she's pretty?  Honestly, that's just gross. And then he goes on to pursue her even though she clearly has a boyfriend and is not interested in her best friend's roommate.

Now, back to the kindness thing. I am so unbelievably tired of this attitude that dictates "Piz is the one who will take care of her and be nice to her" and Logan is some kind of selfish, uncaring beast who's too wrapped up in his own baggage to lend any kindness to anyone else. If people don't stop acting like Logan is just going to drag Veronica down, I'm going to go postal. In case you have forgotten, Logan and Veronica take care of each other. He isn't disrespectful to her friends or her father (he saves Keith's life more than once because he is an HONORABLE DUDE who VALUES HUMAN LIFE and KNOWS THAT KEITH IS IMPORTANT)-- they may not be close, the way Piz is with them, but that is not a requirement for a healthy relationship. Veronica knows she can count on Logan when it really matters, and he shows her 

a side of him that he doesn't show anyone else. I was just reading the "look inside" of the first VM book on Amazon and there are two parts that sum up my point pretty handily (as does this video featuring Jason Dohring, Kristen Bell and Rob Thomas-- though Rob's point is more anecdotal than useful):

The moments they'd spent together before he'd shipped out on his latest naval tour had been the most peaceful she could remember-- even with her anxiety about her dad. It'd been the first time she'd felt complete in a long time. 

Logan had seen through her; that was one of the reasons she loved him. He could tell her things she couldn't bear to tell herself sometimes.

What's that? The most peaceful she could remember? But wait! Piz was supposed to be the one who brought her peace and completion! *eyerolls hard*

She lets herself be vulnerable with him because she knows he's there for her, and vice versa (see: the plot summary of the movie). That's not something she can say for anyone else except Keith. Sure, Logan might throw punches first and ask questions later when it comes to someone hurting Veronica, but as an argument against him? That's just not going to cut it. Veronica can handle it. At this point you're just rooting against him because you'd rather root for the underdog.

Now, what about how he treats anyone else? Surely he has been stereotyped as a bad boy for a reason! He must have done something to earn this rep!

Wrong.

"I don't like him because he doesn't think before he acts and he has no self-preservational skills!"

 

Please. It's not not-thinking-before-he-acts as much as it is acting on instinct, and his instincts are usually right. The one time they weren't, he apologized and felt plenty of remorse, so don't paint him as some kind of sociopath who's going to end up in jail, regret free.

"But there was that one time he purposely got himself thrown in jail so he could punch people!"
Yeah, and who did that hurt? A rapist and his coconspirator. Now obviously Piz would never have done that, but the difference between Logan and Piz is that one had a traumatic childhood and the other did not. Logan's worldview might be a little skewed; he might have anger issues and a depressive personality, especially as a teenager-- and, wow, a teenager who makes mistakes, that NEVER HAPPENS-- but it's not his fault. And he's not going to completely overcome it at nineteen years old.

"You're not a killer, Veronica."

The fact is that Logan has never, ever been automatically cruel to someone who didn't deserve it*. Cruel is not his default setting. He is sarcastic, yes, and frequently impolite, yes, but neither of those qualities hurt anyone. Even after he sees Beaver (his NAME is CASSIDY!) nearly kill Veronica, and learns that he raped her, he doesn't push him off the roof; in fact, he tells him not to jump. He wants to help him, at least until the very moment he realizes that he can't. Logan Echolls does not give up on people until he is absolutely sure that he's defeated. He didn't give up on his mom, Beaver, Duncan, Dick (whose lasting friendship just proves that Logan gave him more of a chance than anyone else ever did, that Logan saw the good in him when no one else could), Hannah, Parker (who gave up on him), or Carrie, and he certainly never gave up on Veronica.

"But he did give up on her, and then he wallowed in pathetic self-pity for a really long time!"

This is Veronica's "Logan just punched
someone for me and I liked it" face.

He gave up on being with her because he realized that this time, he had done something unforgivable in her eyes. The wallowing in self-pity was his way of punishing himself for that, because Veronica was the one person who had ever shown faith in Logan and stuck around, and now she was throwing in the towel. He was feeling pretty worthless at that point; the only person who wanted him around was Dick Casablancas, whose primary concern was getting Logan back on his feet not because he cared about Logan's feelings, but because he wanted to go surf and pick up girls. This entire Logan-is-brooding-because-he's-sad-Veronica-dumped-him thing lasted for ONE EPISODE. I'm not sure how much shorter it could have been and still expressed everything he was going through emotionally. After he finally left his apartment and became a person again, he continued to be there for Veronica when he thought she needed him. So yeah, he gave up on a relationship with her because he was respecting her wishes and giving her space. But he did not give up on Veronica.

Who did give up on Veronica-- twice? Well.

Now, before you Piz fans get your panties in a bunch, I'm not suggesting that Piz should have kept pursuing Veronica when he realized she clearly wasn't into it enough. But he could have stayed a part of her life. He could have kept being there for her in some way, and he didn't-- he bailed, both times. It was all-or-nothing for him in a way that it never was with Logan, and ultimately proved that they weren't capable of being friends if they weren't also a couple. Even when Logan and Veronica broke up several times, he always stuck around-- when they didn't speak for nine years it was because she went away, and he was still respecting her space (and getting his life together in the meantime).

And not only that, but that's the difference between her relationship with Piz and her relationship with Logan: there was never a time, with Logan, when the problem was that she wasn't into it enough. Their problem was that they worried about each other too much; Veronica wanted Logan to be more stable for her and for himself, and Logan wanted Veronica to stop getting herself into situations that could hurt her. Their problem was that, at the time, neither of them could change who they were. So they needed time apart. I am not denying that they weren't exactly right for each other back then. This is a post about Logan, not their relationship, and Logan always had the potential to be right for Veronica. They both just needed to grow up.

Now, watch the movie and tell me that Logan Echolls has not grown up. (Also, read this post.) Of course, he's still the same half-serious-half-joking person who Veronica fell in love with, but he's proven himself capable of being a stabilizing force in someone's life too. That was literally all she wanted from him. And she's done believing him capable of the horrible things everyone else still accuses him of, because she knows him, and she's matured enough to get past her own trust issues. As for his issues about Veronica putting

****IMPORTANT****
Knows better than to accuse him
of evil now. TRUSTS HIM.

herself in danger, it seems he's changed his stance on that, too. He's come to realize that a P.I. is who Veronica is, it's who he fell in love with, and danger comes with the territory. The danger is still not going to be okay, but he wants her to be herself, whatever that entails. (see: when Veronica comes out wearing her real clothes instead of her new!Veronica clothes, and he says, "You should only wear this." He recognizes this Veronica as the right Veronica, and he's telling her to be that.)

Piz, on the other hand, was perfectly happy with a Veronica who was not herself-- and when that version of her went away and was replaced by the real one, he let her go. He had been holding on to an idea of her that was never a reality. The whole point of the movie was to show us that she thought she had changed, she thought she could be this lawyer and that leaving her P.I. life in Neptune was an "escape," but she hasn't changed and it wasn't an escape. It was a cheap replacement for the thing that made her truly happy.

Hence, Veronica's addiction-referencing voiceover that purposely confuses us: is she talking about private investigation, or Logan? The answer, obviously, is both. They're both what makes her happy, and she's spent enough time away with her cheap replacement (sorry, Piz) to recognize the real thing when she goes back. This, the place where she can be the self she wants and needs to be, is where she belongs-- with the person who wants and needs her to be that self too.

And as for the whole Logan-is-trapping-Veronica-in-Neptune argument? Please. See above. You seriously don't get it if you think that is what's happening; this is Veronica's escape. She's unleashing herself. 

IN CONCLUSION:

LOGAN = FULLY-REALIZED CHARACTER WHO IS BOTH A GOOD PERSON AND GOOD FOR VERONICA.

PIZ = GOOD PERSON.

*by 'automatically cruel' I mean without prior knowledge of this person or a belief that they have done something wrong

Review: Far From You by Tess Sharpe

★★★☆☆

This is going to be a short review, because the simple truth is that this might be the perfect book for a lot of people, but it wasn't for me.

The balance of the murder mystery with the relationship drama didn't sit well with me for some reason, in this book. Other books have done it perfectly well, but there was just something about this one that I couldn't wrap my head around. It seemed like the mystery was solved in the first half of the book-- at least in all of the details I cared about, like motive. We knew why Mina was killed, so I didn't really care who did it. Once I knew the motive, continuing with that particular plotline seemed redundant to me, and I couldn't get into it. (True fact: when I found myself halfway done with the book, tired of the repetition of certain discoveries and feelings, I decided to skip to the last 10 pages or so and read the end. I did not feel like I had missed a single thing.)

As far as the relationships, I thought the book did really well with some things and not so well with others. The love triangle was done in a believable way, with realistic doses of bitterness and confusion, and even the way Sophie's parents treated her after Mina's death-- when they thought she had relapsed-- seemed realistic, for two parents who had gone through seeing their daughter endure a life-altering injury and a drug addition. But I didn't feel like there was enough character to every character, if that makes sense. I felt like I had no sense of the small details of Mina that made everyone love her so much, and that vagueness spread to every other character except Sophie, who was the only one I felt like I truly understood.

All of that said, it was not a bad book. Sophie is a character I didn't feel like I had met before, and her story both gritty and tender. This just wasn't my book, in the way that sometimes you can feel like you connect to a character or a story but something keeps you from connecting to the book as a whole.

Review: Faking Normal by Courtney C. Stevens

★★★★½

First thing's first: I cannot believe this is a debut novel. Faking Normal is written with the precision, lyricism and flow of many other authors' seventh or eighth novels. Some authors never get there. Courtney Stevens is some kind of prodigy or something.

Honestly, I have very few negative things to say about this book. I'm going to start with them, because I don't want to leave you with any kind of negative impression by putting them later in my review. They will be out of the way, and then I can go on telling you how great everything else about it is.

I almost feel guilty that this bothered me even a little, but I couldn't get on board with all of the religious references. Not that it's overbearing or preachy-- far from it-- but it's also not one of those books that raises questions or doubts. Alexi's and Bodee's families are solidly Christian, and Alexi turns to God pretty consistently throughout the novel. But atheists, don't fear: this isn't the kind of book that will make you nauseous (*just don't read the acknowledgments, because they will). Other than the characters' church-outings and occasional references to God, it's all pretty secular. These aren't evangelical Christians and there is no political or social commentary from that perspective-- any commentary you'll find is about the situations, not the beliefs.

I didn't quite buy the friendship between Alexi and her two best friends, Heather and Liz. Liz seemed like a great friend, if the typical good-girl, committed-to-God type, and Heather always thought she had Alexi's best interests at heart, but often their dialogue was strained and repetitive. There was one section in particular where I wished these three characters would open their eyes and stop talking about the same things all the time. Heather and Liz both indicated they knew there was something wrong with Alexi, but they never paid enough attention to actually help her through it. They somehow missed the scratch marks on her neck and how uncomfortable she never failed to be around the football boys; they let her go off by herself when she was obviously upset, all too easily believing her lies about why she was upset; Heather incessantly tried to set her up with a boy in whom Alexi clearly had no interest, and then shuts her out completely when something happens that's not even remotely Alexi's fault. Both friends just grated on me after a while.

But that's it. Those are literally the only negative things I have to say about Faking Normal.

As a book that tackles several heavy topics-- rape, PTSD, domestic violence, even emotional abuse-- it had potential to be very dark and unforgiving. But what I loved is that it's shot through with light: Bodee and Alexi have the kind of friendship that makes the stars in the sky seem a little brighter, the darkness a little less infinite. 

"He doesn't shush me or say I'm okay. He knows I'm not. There's none of the pacifying I feared. Bodee is all arms and heartbeat. All unflustered feelings and fail-safe strength. A kiss breezes the top of my head, but he's so gentle. As if no part of him would steal my security. Ever."

"The path is sloppy, and mud kicks up as we run slapdash toward the creek. Wet leaves stick to my shoes, and I slide. Bodee keeps us upright; not that his traction is better than mine, but because it's what he does. He planks the creek with the board, and tests his weight and balance against the slickness of the wood. Always checking, always careful. And protective. If I'd befriended Bodee years ago, maybe I would have found my voice.

We only get the story from Alexi's perspective, but it's clear that she means as much to Bodee as he does to her. He is going through a personal tragedy too, and it's Alexi who helps him find his voice. Theirs isn't a romance as much as it is a friendship, one of those perfect friendships that arise out of mutual need and understanding and willingness to make it work. There's none of that this-is-a-good-thing-so-I'm-going-to-screw-it-up-because-I'm-screwed-up crap going on, which is refreshing because it seems like a common belief that people who are broken can't allow themselves to have good things in life, for fear of breaking those too. Alexi and Bodee both realize that what they have is a good thing, and they never make those decisions that frustrate you as the reader because they're obviously only intended to create tension. They do what is right for each other, always-- and that means being there.

As for the subject matter, I thought it was all handled brilliantly. I'm not an expert by any means, but it seems as if some thorough research (or, hopefully not, experience) went into creating this story about a girl who suffered something awful and violent (you can probably guess, but since the jacket copy doesn't say exactly what happened, I won't either) at the hands of someone who was supposed to be her friend, and a boy who witnessed the worst possible thing happening to his favorite person in the world, at the hands of someone who should have loved them both. Alexi's guilt (as well as Bodee's) after what happened to her seems all too realistic, and her coping mechanisms natural answers to the pain she still feels. 

On a more surface level, the book demands to be read. I started it at 8:30 at night, fully anticipating that I would drag it out over the next couple days, but it had other ideas. I finished at 2:30am. The mystery throws you back and forth between two suspects, and several times I thought I had it figured out until a sentence or two would change my mind and I would try to decide who I was supposed to think was the culprit (because obviously whoever you're supposed to think it is, it is never that person). Finding out who it really was wasn't some mind-blowing revelation for me, but the book was never about the mystery anyway. It's about surviving after tragedy, finding your voice and moving on when all you want to do is hide under your bed or in the closet and count the slats in the ceiling vent.

Basically, I can't recommend this book enough. I think it's not only a good book with fantastic characters and a healthy central relationship, but an important story about quiet survival.

Read it. Look, I even gave you a link.

Review: Maybe One Day by Melissa Kantor

I can't decide if I like this cover or the original better?
This one depicts the girls pretty accurately but there's no beach in the book...

★★★★☆

Before you read this book, disregard everything you think you know about cancer diagnosis and treatment. I'm not saying the book is one hundred percent inaccurate, but I've seen a lot of reviews complaining about how "unrealistic" it is, and I think it's best to go in with an open mind. The book isn't about the cancer, the diagnosis or the treatment-- it's about two childhood best friends going through it together. Because even though only one of them has cancer, they are both going through it. And that's kind of the point.

The Author's Note clearly states that in any instances where she had to choose between medical accuracy and the story itself, she chose the story. As the author, that's kind of her job, and as readers, I think it's kind of our job to respect that.

Olivia and Zoe have been best friends since they were tiny children (I don't remember how old, exactly). They have always done everything together, including going to and getting dropped from a prestigious dance school. They know each other's wardrobes, practically live at each other's houses, and consider each other members of their family. Every important thing that's ever happened to them has happened not to Olivia or to Zoe, but to Olivia and Zoe.

Including Olivia's cancer.

Narrated by Zoe, Maybe One Day is partly a reflection on a lifelong friendship, and partly a struggle with reality: that the "forever" in "best friends forever" isn't always as long as it should be.

Let me make one thing clear on the "reality" front for a second. This book isn't action-packed, there isn't anything overtly exciting about it, and there isn't a sweep-you-off-your-feet-never-leave-the-ground-again romance. It's about living your day-to-day life when you're a teenager whose best friend has cancer, and you're still trying to figure out what extracurricular activity you want to do. If you've ever watched Friday Night Lights, you know that sometimes "real" doesn't mean "boring." Humanity at its most regular and normal can be some of the most interesting stories you'll ever find, and that is what's great about this book. I was completely absorbed in Zoe and Olivia's friendship, and I was only occasionally bothered by the lack of attention given to the romance (which only bothered me not because it made the romance less important, but because the times when Zoe's relationship with Calvin was the main focus, it seemed like insta-love. Like there was no real connection between them other than a crush under development). The story of these two girls and their lives together I think will hit home with a lot of people-- it will strike a chord because this is the kind of friendship some people have always been jealous of, or because they will find themselves in it. It was a little bit of both for me. 

And I really loved Zoe's relationships with everyone, not just Olivia. She's like a sister to Olivia's brother, Jake, and very much not like a daughter to Olivia's parents. I thought that relationship with her best friend's parents was important, because it was realistic; I've experienced it myself. That nagging feeling that your friend's parents don't like you, that maybe even they wish it were you who had cancer instead of their daughter. Why wouldn't they? But how is Zoe supposed to deal with that? Being treated like an outsider when you've felt like a part of the family for so long is going to have unforseen emotional consequences; Zoe is bitter a lot of the time, and she lashes out at her own parents. But their friendship dictates that it doesn't matter, and she's always there for Olivia. In the end, the fact that Olivia's parents didn't think of her as their adoptive daughter was not important, because Olivia was. 

Her relationship with Calvin was not the main focus of the story, but I think it helped move it along. It helped Zoe deal with a lot of things, provided a bit of well-needed tension, and wasn't entirely boring. Calvin is vaguely swoon-worthy and a truly good person, so I can't really complain here.

Especially since this book isn't pitched as a romance, nor should it be. It's about friendship.

So yes, Maybe One Day is a tearjerker, and you can probably guess why. But it will also make you nostalgic, and angry, and happy, and hopeful. To reduce it to how many buckets of tears you shed while reading it would be a tremendous disservice.

Review: Crown of Midnight by Sarah J. Maas

✭✭✭✭½

I'm starting this review at 12:27am. This is a bad idea for several reasons:

1. I'm at my most emotional when a) I've just finished a book, or b) it's past midnight. So, double whammy.
2. A book like this, my review is going to be long and rambly and I probably won't finish it until at least 2:00 if I do the whole thing now.
3. I was totally ready to start another book, and if I keep dwelling on this one I'm going to have such a bad book hangover that I won't be able to do it. I just won't.

Crap, guys.

Crap.

I wasn't prepared for this book. It beckoned me to float into the sky and then it beat me down, and beat me down, and beat me down some more.

Right, this is supposed to be the part where I tell you how much you'll enjoy Crown of Midnight. Lucky for you, "beat me down" in my vocabulary tends to mean "got me emotionally invested to the point where I cry when the characters are sad, I cry when they're happy, I cry when their full names are used in butt-kicking, odds-defying moments, and I cry when their expectations of each other are just a little too high." Because that's what happens when you love someone: you expect too much of them. You get hurt, and you hurt them right back.

Let's talk about Celaena Sardothien, the King's Champion, for a second.

Celaena, whose family was slaughtered, whose best friend and first love was murdered, who spent a year in a salt mine prison and then whose one chance for freedom involved a tournament to the death. This girl isn't just followed by death, she is death. Psychologically damaged to the point where you're on edge constantly, waiting for her to break, Celaena is not your average Strong Female Character. And I'm not talking about the padded-room-with-a-straitjacket kind of break, or the eat-your-sorrows-and-cry-in-your-bed kind of break. I'm talking about the kill-now-think-later kind of break. There are a lot of kickass female protagonists that could make you regret being born, but Celaena wouldn't even give you long enough to do so. She's an assassin, and you do not want to cross her.

It's not easy to forget how deadly Celaena is, and yet a few people have managed to see past it. Chaol, Dorian and Nehemia haven't forgotten what she is, but they're more concerned with who she is. Her relationships with each of them are extremely different, but they all ring true-- and that is why I loved this book. Through all the court drama, politics, fighting and magic, it shines with authentic humanity, with connections that sometimes break and can't grow back the way they were before, but they do grow back.

I spent a lot of time in this book arguing with myself. Part of me was mad at Celaena for the way she acted, how quickly she could turn on the people who cared about her, but then the another part of me was constantly reminding myself that she had a history of being betrayed-- and that she's suffered horrible trauma at the command of the king she now serves. And she's a teenage girl. All things considered, I think she's allowed to be irrational, spiteful and reckless. Not even halfway through the series, we have reason to believe that she's not irreparably damaging herself by being this way. Even within this very book she realizes her mistake and admits it. In the next one, maybe she won't be so impulsive or see things in such black and white terms.

Now, moving away from Celaena to talk about the book in general, I thought it was just brilliant. The transition from romance to friendship with Dorian was extremely well done and I didn't find myself doubting for a second that they could be friends. Dorian Havilliard, the Crown Prince of Adarlan, could pretty much have any girl he wanted. He wants the King's Champion, but she is the one person it seems doesn't want him back-- and what does he do? He handles it with such grace and dignity that I grew to love him even more than I already did (and I swear to god, Sarah J. Maas, I'm keeping him locked away in my room until you promise not to hurt him. I have a lot of books he can read). Dorian Havilliard is who Adam Kent should have been, but was never a decent enough human to be.

Celaena's relationship with Chaol-- Chaol Westfall, Captain of the Guard, loyal servant to the king he suspects Celaena wants to see dead-- comes naturally. The stakes are high and you could cut the tension with a knife, but one thing is always abundantly clear: Celaena and Chaol will always choose each other. They are natural enemies who learn to live in the space between right and wrong. Emotional punches left, right, up and down; don't ever get used to things going well. This book doesn't want you to be able to stand. 

You might notice that I'm talking more about the characters and relationships than anything else about the book, which may seem like a normal thing for me as those are what I usually care about the most. Honestly, though, I'm not talking about the other stuff because I slogged through it. The action scenes were compelling enough, but the magic/dungeon/exploring the castle scenes, not so much. They felt redundant and were often too long to keep me interested. I still don't find the magic the most interesting part of the series. Luckily, it's worth reading for everything else.

The writing in Crown of Midnight is leaps above what it was in Throne of Glass. Any chapter- or section-ending sentence that started with "Celaena Sardothien" or "The King's Champion" or "The Captain of the Guard" was like an emotional bomb being dropped on the page. And that final sentence? Like I said: Crap. The whole final page? Holy. Crap.

I need Heir of Fire (the revelation that explains that title? Oh yes. Yes yes yes.) right now. 

Review: Ignite Me by Tahereh Mafi

★★★★★

Seriously, if you haven't given this series a chance yet, you really, really ought to do so. Ignore the Goodreads reviewers' complaints about prose. I get where they're coming from, and I can tell you right now those people are only hurting themselves by not giving Tahereh Mafi the benefit of the doubt. Because character development. The prose in the first book is meant to reflect who Juliette was at that point, and she is not that girl anymore.

This review is going to contain spoilers for Shatter Me and Unravel me, so if you have not read those yet, please read them now. I'll wait.

Okay, ready?

So. Ignite Me picks up after Juliette has broken both Adam's and Warner's hearts and been shot by their father. She finds out that Omega Point has been destroyed and everyone in it is dead. Well, almost everyone. We're supposed to assume that there's a very small chance Adam and Kenji and the rest made it out alive, but we all know better, right? Adam's out there, still crying like a baby because Juliette broke up with him or because he thinks she's dead (dude is never satisfied, amirite) and Kenji's out there with him, telling him how annoying all his drama is.

And Juliette is with Warner. Who saved her life, even though she broke his heart.

Man, this book was everything I wanted it to be. Of all the trilogies that have ended in the past year, this one had the most satisfying ending. Honestly, it's the first series-ender since Reached that didn't give me that feeling where my stomach drops and my blood runs cold because I've just realized it's not going to end how I wanted it to end. I mean, it had about the same effect as Requiem-- which I know most people hated (they're all a bunch of know-nothing Jon Snows if you ask me)-- everything just built up and built up to a place that made sense, that didn't try to make the reader feel like an idiot for wanting a happy ending. Sure, it's not a happy ending for everyone, but all in all it's much happier than it could have been.

Why?

Because of Juliette Ferrars.

She thinks in mostly normal sentences. She doesn't cross out her thoughts. She stands up for herself, and for everyone else. She's done wallowing in self-pity and she's done letting her power control her. She's learning to control it, in more ways than one.

I'm trying not to give away too much since the book just came out yesterday, so I'll just say this: she realizes that one relationship is wrong for her. And she finds herself with two right ones (not necessarily romantic).

And stuff.

Goes.

Down.

This book is perfectly paced, has consistent humor balanced well with all the angst, and anyone who complained of insta-love in the first book is going to be ridiculously pleased with this one. There's not a dull moment in the entire book, but really the thing most worth talking about is the character development. And not just Juliette's. Adam's, Warner's, Kenji's (keep in mind that not all character development is good development). I want to write amusing songs about their relationships with each other. Also, move over Adji (Kendam?), there's a new brotp in town. More of a reluctant, nervous-laughter brotp, but it makes me so, so happy.

In fact, here's a spoiler-lite list of things about this book that make me happy:

• Kenji (◕‿◕✿)
• No crossouts ʘ‿ʘ 
• Warner being serious (◡‿◡✿)
• Warner joking (✿◠‿◠)
• Nobody understanding Warner's sense of humor (╹◡╹)
• Juliette being a badass (◕‿-)
• A certain "unidentified roadkill" comment (◑‿◐)
• Chapter 55 (✿ ♥‿♥)
• James ｡◕ ‿ ◕｡
• Juliette telling Warner what to do (~￣▽￣)~
• "Two hundred and sixty-four days I was in there and the whole time, I had the power to break myself out and I didn't, because I had no idea I would. Because I never even tried. Because I let the world teach me to hate myself. I was a coward, who needed someone else to tell me I was worth something before I took any steps to save myself." ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ
• JULIETTE FERRARS TAKING CONTROL OF HER OWN GOSHDARN LIFE (｡♥‿♥｡)

Let's recall that I gave Shatter Me 2 stars.

And then I gave Unravel Me 4 stars.

Well, she's finally done it.

I'm giving Ignite Me 5 stars, and I feel good about it.